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Equal Rights for Storms: By Shmuel Sackett

By now, you have read all about the storm in Israel. You have seen the pictures, read the articles and spoke to family and friends who experienced the biggest storm in Israel in over 100 years! As usual, in all cases of crisis, this storm brought out the best in the Jewish people. All of a sudden, there were no more Sefardim or Ashkenazim. There were no Haredim or Hilonim. There was simply the Jewish Nation in need of help and the acts of chesed were incredible.

While the storm in Israel was not nearly as devastating as “Sandy”, we did have our share of damage, power-outages and emergencies. One example was in the Shilo area where power was lost on Thursday night and, due to the snow, people could not drive their vehicles. By Monday morning, these families – which totaled over 1,000 people – had no food left. Many of them were also out of diapers! Baruch Hashem, on Monday afternoon the holy soldiers of the IDF pushed through the snow with special vehicles and brought hundreds of boxes of food, diapers, batteries and other essentials! What a special feeling that must have been to see those soldiers – true angels of Hashem – bring these supplies to their fellow brothers and sisters. It is acts such as these that show we are truly one nation, one people, serving one G-d, defended by His heroic messengers! My only problem is that it takes a nasty storm to remind us of this.

Allow me now, to switch from the seriousness of the storm – and the lessons we learned from it – to a much lighter side by pointing out a very important issue that has bothered me since the first snowflake fell on the Kotel. This storm had no name. That’s right, it was simply called “The Storm” or “The Storm in Israel” – how sad is THAT? No name? Doesn’t every storm and hurricane get a name everywhere in the world? What happened to Israel? Aren’t we good enough? Is this part of the international boycott that is spreading throughout the world? Think about it: You guys get Sandy, Katrina, Ike, Chantal, Hugo, Isabelle (thank you Wikipedia) and we just get “The Storm”??? That is downright discrimination and I refuse to stand for it!

Therefore, in an effort of fairness and worldwide acceptance, I have decided to form CONES; Israel’s first Committee On Naming Every Storm! At the present time, I am the only member of CONES but I will work hard at establishing a fair and balanced set of rules for naming our yearly storms. First of all, as is accepted around the world, we will follow the ABC’s. In addition to that, we will need to follow strict guidelines so that every member of Israel’s society is represented in the naming process. I remember many years ago that all storm names in the USA were strictly female until the women’s rights movement protested and in 1978 a law was passed that male-female names would alternate between storms. In Israel, I plan on being very sensitive to the constant need of being politically correct so my ABC order will not only follow names, but will also follow types of people living in the country. For example: A-Arabs, B-Bedouins, C-Christians, D-Druze and so on. We want to include everyone!

Based on the above, this first storm of the year will be named in honor of our Arab citizens. Furthermore, since it is their first naming, we will also start it with the letter “A” and call this storm: Ahmed. Please make sure to start using this name immediately when referring to the storm so that the Arab population can feel proud and dignified for receiving the first name in Israel’s history of storms!

I am sure that the universities of the world, which constantly condemn Israel for not treating the Arab’s fairly will be more than pleased to acknowledge that of all the names in the world, Ahmed was chosen first to represent Israel in this vital area of life. These universities and their liberal professors will be proud to state that it was Ahmed who caused major havoc in Israel and it was Ahmed who caused the flooding, power-outages and dangerous conditions. Sorry guys, but it is going to take many years to blame these problems on Yankel.

I sincerely hope that the NY Times will appreciate this and will report about all the damage done by Ahmed to the State of Israel. I am actually looking forward to hearing this on CNN and the BBC; “Israelis are now cleaning up from the damages left behind by Ahmed. Israelis in Tel Aviv and Netanya were also affected by Ahmed and the losses due to Ahmed are in the tens of millions of dollars. Government officials have stated that they were not prepared for what Ahmed did to them but have promised the Israeli public that in the future, they will learn their lesson and be properly prepared.” Now that is a news report I would love to hear!

PS: In honor of our Bedouin population, I am proud to state that Tropical Storm “Bedawi” may hit Israel sometime in January. Can’t wait!

 

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