Translated from the Ma'ariv newspaper website.

 

4 Adar, 5767

Feb. 22, 2007

 

Criticism of the tyranny of the Supreme Court had always provided me with plenty of material for new articles. But now that criticism is being trumpeted by none other than the new Justice Minister, Professor Friedman. I said just what I thought about our generals and before I knew it, the War for the Safety of the Convergence Plan and the commissions of inquiry that it produced descended upon us and left my keyboard destitute. There is no reason to talk about Sharon and his son, President Katzav, former minister Chaim Ramon or to make jokes about Defense Minister Peretz; everybody else is already doing that.

All that was left was the police and I have a lot of personal experience with them. I could tell countless tragi-comic stories about Israel's men in blue: How they intercepted the helicopter in which I was flyingover a Zo Artzeinu demonstration, for example, or how a reporter from Channel 2 news requested my response to a charge sheet that I had never received. She didn't give up, though, and faxed me the copy of the charge sheet that had been leaked to her so that I could respond. I could write a whole book about the blunders and corruption of Israel's police force, but now Professor  Zeiler has come and stolen the show.

So what is left to complain about? Since they finished off the settlers, all the bullies in town are trying to eliminate each other. As former Chief of Staff Halutz put it, number 2 stabs number 1 in the back, number 3 stabs number 2 in the back, 4 does it to 3 and I have nothing more to write about.

All that is left is to tell a story that begins in Brooklyn, where my distant relative lives. He is a genius type, with a long list of degrees in his pocket. He spends his days studying Torah, he and his wife work a bit and they manage to support their four children by keeping their eyes on every cent.

In America, experts warn that in forty years all the world's oil reserves will be depleted. The Americans don't live on the "Don't worry, everything will work out" culture like here in Israel. They don't wait for the last minute. So the federal and local governments have begun to subsidize every person who saves on electricity produced from oil. My relative put together all the facts and figures -- as only he can do -- and invested ten thousand dollars in a solar panel system that supplies all of his family's electricity needs. Electricity in the U.S. is no more expensive than electricity in Israel. If it is worth it for him -- believe me -- it is also worth it for us.

True, it is of utmost importance to maintain the "peace" and to pour huge amounts of money into the Egyptian economy for the oil and gas that they pump from the "Alma" fields that we developed in the Sinai and then gave them. But why should we have to spend our money on Egypt? After all, Mubarak will not live forever. Eventually, one ayatollah or another will replace him and then, just like in Iran, all of our treaties and pacts will go up in smoke.

My relative's solar panels take up about two thirds of his roof. The electricity that they produce enters a transformer that sends it straight into the public electric grid. "When that happens," he explains, "my electric meter actually turns around backwards." In other words, he doesn't store the electricity. Instead, he gives it back to the local electric company. 

For a card carrying Israeli citizen like me, it is simply inconceivable. They won't arrest me for doing something like that? Any citizen can produce electricity? Send it into the public grid? And even get a subsidy for doing so?

Brooklyn has less sunshine than Israel, but nevertheless, my relative is in the black. Do you understand? The electric company owes him money! So what are we waiting for? From a technological perspective, we have no problem. Israeli companies are building solar electrical stations all over the world. In the summer, Israelis' air conditioners annually top the peak electrical consumption of the previous year. With the solar electrical system, every heat wave would mean breaking the records for electricity production. So far, nobody has landed on the sun and claimed it for his own. True, as soon as we activate this solar system, Sheikh Salah will claim that it is a desecration of Islamic holy property. But Olmert will let the Turks supervise the entire project, and everything will work out just fine.